i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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