I wish my penis had an off switch
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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