I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
