My pussy is not your playground.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
