someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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