haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
