Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
