I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
