East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize