just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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