Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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