So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
