I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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