So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
