There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My vagina is very pro this idea
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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