Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
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Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame