just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
