me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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