it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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