hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
