Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
They have beer where we have blood.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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