Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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