I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
