He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i've created a new STD.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize