I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was like eating out sand paper
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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