Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I intend to get homeless drunk
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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