...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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