just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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