If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
