i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
