So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
