Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
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Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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