is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
