it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
