You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
