I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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