I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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