Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
