dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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