tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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