Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
