just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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