"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
