They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
