I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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