So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
