i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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