i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just threw up on my dentist
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I love you.
Bad choice
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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