hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
