Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
