i don't like sucking hair
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
