you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
