My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
