Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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