North Korea, Best Korea!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
