I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
