i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
